In defense of “self-help”

Written By Ryan Ward

I used to think self-help books were dumb.

I thought, who’s this person and what have they got to offer that will actually help me?

Do I trust them? Are they a con-artist?

What credentials do they have to give me life advice?

Was this arrogance on my part? Was it egotistical?

Possibly.

I also thought, how could someone today give me more valuable information than let’s say, an ancient philosopher, or an author of one of the most influential books written throughout history?

Maybe I thought I was above self-help. Or that I didn’t need to hear what they had to offer.

And instead of seeing for myself, I wrote them off as “not for me.”

They’re definitely a polarizing topic.

You either love self-help books or you hate them.

I was a hater.

But my view has changed.

I’ve read a number of self-help books over the last year. And I’ll say this…

They’ve helped. A lot.

I was never really a fan of the “fluff” aka the “woo woo.”

What I mean by this is, books that talk about topics such as spirituality/mindset or that give advice without much factual/scientific basis.

They usually contain only one main lesson that can be summed up in a short phrase or sentence.

This means they can be extremely repetitive.

I used to wonder, “How could someone write an entire 200-300 page book on that? It seems too simple.”

Well, I’ve learned that there is an art to it.

These books all do something so well. And it’s the reason why they’re always on the Best Seller’s list.

What do they do so well?

Reach.

They appeal to an extremely broad audience.

Why?

There’s something in them for everyone.

Writing about 100 different topics is hard, no doubt.

But writing about 1 topic in 100 different ways can be even more difficult.

The mission of these books is, “How can I explain this one lesson so that anyone can understand it?”

Everyone learns differently.

A single anecdote explaining a topic won’t resonate with everyone who reads it, but it will with some.

By breaking the lesson down into every possible angle, the book can resonate with pretty much anyone.

No matter who picks up the book, where they came from, how old they are, or what they’re trying to get out of the book, they’ll find something in there for them.

It may not be exactly what they were looking for initially, but it will help them nonetheless.

Like I said, I used to hate the fluff and self-help as a whole.

Now I can say that I’m definitely a fluff fan.

I used to just want the main lesson so I could get on with my day.

I was wrong to think this way.

I’ve realized, after reading a few of these books, that the fluff is what actually matters.

It’s what helps the lesson sink in.

Sure you could watch someone on YouTube tell you the main lesson of a book, or read the Sparknotes or a review somewhere. But you won’t get the same level of value you would be actually reading the book yourself.

The fluff is what allows the seeds of an idea to grow their roots deep within your mind.

Dan Koe explains it in The Art of Focus, saying that by reading self-help books, “you [the reader] interpret my ideas according to your perspective and implement them into your own story.” ¹

By hearing all of the different anecdotes and seeing all of the various perspectives, the depth of your knowledge grows exponentially. Each one building off the last, and relating to all of the experiences you’ve had in your life so far.

I still read other types of books because it’s good to diversify, and self-help books can get old after a few in a row.

But I no longer blindly write them off. I’ve seen their benefits play out in my own life.

I once heard, “any good book is a self-help book.”

If you find value in a book, and it helps broaden your perspective in some way, then it’s served it’s purpose.

I think there may be some out there that probably are a load of BS.

But hey, if you don’t like it, you can always just stop reading it.

To help you out, here are my favorite “self-help” books I’ve read over the past few years. Some aren’t necessarily straightforward “self-help” but I’m throwing them in there for you anyway because I found them helpful.

My Top “Self-Help” Books

General

Psychology

I give my thoughts on each of these 3 books in this week’s Contentsation - 3.9.24 | On fluff, psych books, and a mish-mosh of motivation

Mindfulness/Spirituality

Finance

Footnotes

¹ The Art of Focus by Dan Koe. Page 28.

Ryan Ward
Previous

Why I’m keeping my 9-5 job
Next

2 People Lucky to be Alive